Coffee Talks (part2) on long distance relationships

The last coffee talk post I had evolved around having an IM conversation with my former boss-turned friend, Jem. I decided to continue the series of this post by blogging about a live conversation with her when she arrived and spent the holy week with me:

Of friends (lost and found): How can you tell if a friend is a friend or not? >> First stop, Jem was an introvert (so she said before) but I would like to beg to disagree. She has now evolved from being a black-loving skinny girl with super straight jet black hair to what to be a skinny girl who gained weight, no longer wearing black and kinda curly girl at that time (cute). I was once again put on the hot seat and asked why wasn't I being responsive on updates regarding myself on IM. In my attempt to explain my side and redeem my being a true friend to her, I was silenced by how I would go back in time and explain why I rarely keep in touch but remain as a true friend. It was difficult to explain how I became who I am right now in dealing with long distance friends and I hope she understood me (details to be spared since I plan to blog about it next time).

A lot of questions could pop up from nowhere. Questions such as "do you actually lose your friends just because you moved to a far far away land?" I would like to take this opportunity to answer this and plainly say NO without even thinking twice. For some strange reason, people tend to feel abandoned just because the separation (as in literal = of space) and they feel that the situation puts a huge gap as long as EDSA. I know communication is deemed important but friends will always remain friends.

An excuse I had that turned out to make sense is when I asked her a few questions:

Me: When you come home to the Philippines and meet with me, do you feel like there's a certain awkward feeling like you don't know me at all?

Her: No.

Me: Feels just like yesterday, right?

Well, that's how short the conversation went :)

To close this entry, here's a picture of a "quote" I got from browsing when I was looking for a worthy wall paper for my phone.

Comfort Zone

Here's a favorite spot during the wee hours of the morning in Baguio. Volante is usually jampacked during the day but I can't blame the people since the food is relatively cheap and delicious and did I mention cheap?

Most of my fourth year college early mornings were spent here with group mates in film. Aside from those days, I usually spend my thinking moments here during the wee hours of the morning after having a couple rounds of beer with some friends. Most of the time, I just want to be alone and think.

Just for sharing: a lot of people think it's wierd that I have my silent moments every now and then, aside from the fact that I really am not a party animal. I usually get invites to go to bars and clubs but I always end up just drinking... getting bored... then I finally make my escape. Close friends of mine don't bother telling me when they plan to go to clubs during the weekends since they already know my answer. It's an automatic "no" or if ever I say yes, I set the expectation that I might just leave ahead of them.

Going back to what I originally planned on blogging about: VOLANTE >> It is thru Volante that gave birth to my Coffe Talks since I usually have a cup or two of the famous Benguet Blend coffee with classmates and friends.

What do I usually think about during my silent moments spent by session road? Nothing I guess. I just enjoy the silence and at times, observing the people who pass by.

Well, I hope to find something similar to Volante here in Manila. Close to Volante here in QC is where I usually get my caffeine dosage and dose of "people watching"... Starbucks Emerald

Holy Week and Friends (lost and found) part 2

How do we deal with a lost sould who wants to find it's way back?

This was a pretty difficult task that was handed on to me by Him; the difficulty of it is my clouded judgement but hey, everything happens for a reason (and so they say).

I won't spend time in writing about the mistakes my dear friend had made but definately, he was lost and was at the brink of destroying a bright future ahead. I knew he was special and would be able to reach his dreams in no time; it was just very unfortunate that he was faced with a difficult trial that challenged his reasoning and decisions.

Okay, I give in. It was all about drugs (as if it wasn't that obvious). I lost contact with (let's just call him wally for now) Wally 7 months ago. He was a close friend of mine. I did not hear a word, nor a reason for his sudden vanishing from the world we were on. This bothered me for some time until I got a message from him (well, apparently not him but someone who was accessing his emails) and sent me a message informing me to stop worrying and looking for my friend since he was already a different person (like a person who just sold his soul to the devil). At first, I didn't want to believe it but it started to sink in. He had problems with his family, and with work, and it wouldn't surprise me if he would go that far and destroy his life. I wanted to help but does he want to be helped? and besides, there was no other way for me to get in touch with him.

All of a sudden, Holy Thursday came. I was already ready to pack up and head home until someone sent me a message through IM. It was him. knowing that someone else could access his email account and all, with my heart feeling it was being punded by a jack hammer, asked if it was really him, and he confirmed. I wanted to ask him a lot of questions but just focused on what he wanted me to do for him (since I already knew about the drugs thing way back). He told me to stop looking for him and let the others know that he's just going to be forgotten (didn't know what this message really meant but I was determined to help). I asked him what he wanted to do with his life and he just told me he wanted to go home to his family (since he now lives in the house of the one who supplies him with the stash). I asked him how he could do that (since it was him who brought himself to wherever he was at). He owed the sponsor a big amount of money. He didn't have a job that could pay it off and would have a hard time finding a new job for him to pay it off since his drug tests would appear positive). He was desparate and I offered his family a sum of money that could help him redeem himself and go home. His family agreed and would pay me back in longer terms, but I didn't mind.

I found out a lot of reasons on why this friend of mine did what he did. And he was weak and vulnerable at a certain point in his life where he felt like he was unloved and alone. I did not understand how this clouded his judgement but he was at a point where he could no longer make decisions and just was influenced by his friends (if you call them friends).

He's now free and safe. It's just a matter of time for him to re-build himself and start a new life.

Lesson learned, always make sure to know your friends and always trust your instincts. Friends will always be around when you need them the most. Please don't think that a friend has abandoned you just because you can't physically see them beside you.

Wally - thank you for making the right decision.

Thank God for the holy week. I've learned it's all about unconditional love and sacrifices.. of course, coupled with constant communication (with friends and most of all, with God!)

Happy Easter, everyone!

Holy Week and Friends (lost and found) part 1

My holy week basically started when I fetched an old friend from Terminal 3 of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. I was told to be there at around 7 in the morning but my friends and I arrived earlier than expected since we were expecting traffic to build up but we were wrong. Instead, we visited a nearby church.

I am a non-practicing catholic who doesn't know that much about the religion. But I prayed for a lost soul to finally find peace and move on constructing a new life. This was the only thing that bothered me for the past 7 months and finally, after seeing the church, those wishes were the only ones that I could think of.

Going back to the story, Jem arrived on time and we were once again instructed to fetch her in aisle "i" up front (arrivals) but to our surprise, there was no aisle "i" but bays ranging from 1 to i can't remember. I called her up to ask if she was already up front and she confirmed. I asked if she sees the church that is located just in front of the terminal but she only confirms seeing a tower (thought that it was the church's tower, but apparently, it was the control tower she was referring to). Jem asked around and found out that she was at terminal 2 instead.

When we got to Jem, we went around the Manila area to find a place where we could have breakfast. Jem had been in the US for 2 years already (if I'm not mistaken) and was already rusty with her directions around the metropolis. Jopat was our guide, driver and human GPS (thanks for driving us around, Jopat). We settled at Aristocrat along Roxas boulevard for Breakfast ordering anything that Jopat was ordering (literally).

After breakfast, Jem had an early morning appointment at the Salon and we just dropped her off. It was really nice seeing good friends come together after months of not seeing each other. I know it defeats the purpose of what the holy week is all about but in some way, it brought back good memories. It was just like yesterday

Battle against an unseen foe

I just recently found out that a dear friend of mine, who apparently I lost contact with in the last 6 months, had been addicted to drugs.

It pains me to learn about this news but more than that, worried by the thought. I immediately planned on to reaching out again, this time, involving close friends and office mates of his; freeing him from his problems by at least pulling him away from friends who pushed him into the pit.

Would he respond positively to the help I plan to give? Would he want to be helped? These are just some of the questions floating right now but, I have high hopes he would listen and my messages get through.

Pulling someone out from this situation is really hard, but I am gearing myself up to endure this challenge.

What's in store this month?

Closing chapters - part of the never ending cycle in life. Instead of closing doors, I'd like to term it as starting anew. This month will definately be full of a lot of surprises (I hope). Isn't it exciting to know that you don't know what's in store tomorrow? (except of course what's on the menu at home the following day) not unless someone else did the grocery shopping for you. :)

April 1st is the day for fools. Much to my delight, Lyndon's prank worked on me but of course, I managed to pull one back at him :) Now going back, foolish things could happen and there's nothing you can do but just fall for them. Only difference is we try to get back and make sure our parts are better delivered. Just like stepping stones. (It's always okay to step on something to reach the top as long as they're STONES) :)

Just had a talk with one of my bested buddies who now recides in Singapore, and all we talked about were things of the past. A sort of reflection. Trying to remember the not so distant past and appreciating the fruits that our hard labor bore not only for us, but for everyone who's enjoying sweet tasting fruits today.

A part of trying to prepare for April, I just want to look back last March 28 when my sister finally graduated. It was indeed an accomplishment much bigger than anything else I've achieved in the last five years.

Anyway, happy April fools to everyone and I hope that all foolishness we do on the first day won't come back as backfires for the whole month but rather, make our whole month full of laughter while still trying to achieve our ever-growing ambitions.